I’d like to believe that we live in a society where these off-the-wall “Am I The Asshole” posts are fake. That being said, as a citizen of the planet “sometimes moms are too nosy for their own good,” I know that there’s definitely a chance that someone’s mama opened their mail, ate what was inside, and ended up going to the hospital because it was a male supplement and not an innocent, Winnie the Pooh-like jar of honey.
Hey kids, here’s the story of how I sent my mom to the hospital (but really it’s her own fault)
We’re told the story of a guy who grew up with one of those incredibly nosy mothers who would go through his nightstand and read his texts. The flag is a fair shade of red, but not a blistering siren shade, not yet. That warning sign occurs during this guy’s first two years at community college. He lived at home at the time and his mom would go through his mail and open it, meaning she would come across some very private information. The example he gives is a doctor’s bill he received after he contracted a sexually transmitted disease. His mother opened it, paid for it (which, sure, thanks for that), but then TOLD HIS ENTIRE FAMILY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED??? And he found out because his family proceeded to LECTURE HIM ABOUT SAFE SEX?????
Eventually, he moved out and took a major step away from his family which, yeah, can’t blame him. Time has passed, though, and I guess he, maybe, thought his mother had changed? Because he moved back in with her.
Fast forward to today. I moved out after sophomore year and took a real step back from my family to figure out my life and where I wanted to go. Went to pilot training, got on with an airline, life is good. My mom and I recently started slowly reconnecting and when I transferred base to my hometown, she offered to let me live in and use her house as my address because she now spends so much time with her boyfriend that she’s barely around. I would pay the bills, no rent, and I would put her on my flight benefits. Fair trade.
One day, while away from home, he gets a package at the house. It’s of a male supplement honey that he and his girlfriend want to try. No big deal, they can just (wink wink nudge nudge) when he gets back. However, while he’s away, he gets angry calls and texts from his family because his mother is in the hospital. Why? “Turns out my mom opened the mail, ate the honey, and was feeling the effects.”
Before I get to the part where I scream about this woman opening mail that isn’t hers and eating the contents inside that are, again, not hers, I want to say that he does let us know that she’s fine. She was discharged from the ER (she actually drove herself) and suffered from high blood pressure and that was about it. Also? He moved out after this because, you know, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, eat the honey,” or whatever.
WHY DID SHE EAT IT, THOUGH?!
As many bring up in the thread, he’s not the asshole here, but I can’t help scratching my head about the fact that his family is mad at him? For something his mother did to herself? “Apparently I should have warned her that a box with my name on it was going to be coming with a perverted honey in it.”
I just … what?!
Opening someone else’s mail isn’t cool (not to mention illegal!) if you don’t have permission, but he’s already distanced himself from his mother because of how much she kept invading his privacy when he was younger. Why would she think this was okay to do again? Why would his family think this was okay?
What truly confuses me, though, is that she not only opened his mail without permission … SHE ATE IT, TOO?! Why would she eat something that 1) wasn’t hers, and 2) wasn’t actually honey to begin with? Was there nothing on the package that said “male supplement” or any other indicator of this NOT being an edible thing?
So yeah. Um. Don’t eat male supplement honey, mom, and mind your own beeswax.
(Image: Paramount Pictures)
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